{"product_id":"this-calls-for-a-freakin-spreadsheet-candle","title":"This Calls For A Freakin' Spreadsheet Candle","description":"\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen life gets complicated, open Excel.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe “This Calls For A Freakin’ Spreadsheet” Candle is for anyone who believes there is no problem too big, chaotic, or completely fucked that can’t be improved with a few formulas and some aggressively organized columns.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for spreadsheet lovers, Excel nerds, analysts, accountants, project managers, or that coworker who makes a spreadsheet for absolutely fucking everything.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLight it up, open a fresh workbook, and start organizing the chaos one cell at a time.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCandle Details\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStyle\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDimensions\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBurn Time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003e9 oz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClear glass jar with lid\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003e3.5\" tall × 2.9\" wide\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUp to 60 hours\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003e11 oz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003eD\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003eoubles as a rocks drink glass after the candle is used up\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003e3.5\" tall × 3.2\" wide\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUp to 65 hours\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003e13.75 oz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLarge clear glass jar\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003e5.25\" tall × 2.95\" wide\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUp to 80 hours\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll candles are:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand-poured in the USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade with 100% soy wax\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade with a cotton wick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNon-toxic\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClean, long-lasting burn\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReusable glass jars\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePick Your Scent\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003cspan\u003eScent\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSmells Like\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBasic Bitch Vanilla\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRich vanilla bean with warm Tonka bean and whipped cocoa. Sweet, warm, and basic in the best possible way.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSugar \u0026amp; Spite\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBrown sugar and cinnamon stick blended with lemon, vanilla extract, and pralines. Sweet with just enough spice to match your personality.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBitch Relax!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFresh eucalyptus and lavender with earthy undertones. For when Christmas cheer is testing your last fucking nerve.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChristmas Woods\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCool balsam, crisp eucalyptus, fir branches, and cedarwood. Basically Christmas tree season without vacuuming up needles until March.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBeachside Meltdown\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBright citrus with lavender, cedarwood, jasmine petals, patchouli, crushed rosemary, and oakmoss. Fresh, complex, and perfect for having your breakdown somewhere tropical.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Corporate Snark","offers":[{"title":"Reusable Rocks Glass - 65 hour burn time \/ Basic Bitch Vanilla","offer_id":53062459294008,"sku":null,"price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Reusable Rocks Glass - 65 hour burn time \/ Bitch Relax!","offer_id":53062459326776,"sku":null,"price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Reusable Rocks Glass - 65 hour burn time \/ Sugar \u0026 Spite","offer_id":53062459359544,"sku":null,"price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Reusable Rocks Glass - 65 hour burn time \/ Beachside Meltdown","offer_id":53062459392312,"sku":null,"price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Reusable Rocks Glass - 65 hour burn time \/ Christmas Woods","offer_id":53062459425080,"sku":null,"price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tall Jar - 80 hour burn time \/ Basic Bitch Vanilla","offer_id":53062458966328,"sku":null,"price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tall Jar - 80 hour burn time \/ Bitch Relax!","offer_id":53062458999096,"sku":null,"price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tall Jar - 80 hour burn time \/ Sugar \u0026 Spite","offer_id":53062459031864,"sku":null,"price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tall Jar - 80 hour burn time \/ Beachside Meltdown","offer_id":53062459064632,"sku":null,"price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tall Jar - 80 hour burn time \/ Christmas Woods","offer_id":53062459097400,"sku":null,"price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jar w\/lid - 60 hour burn time \/ Basic Bitch Vanilla","offer_id":53062459130168,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jar w\/lid - 60 hour burn time \/ Bitch Relax!","offer_id":53062459162936,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jar w\/lid - 60 hour burn time \/ Sugar \u0026 Spite","offer_id":53062459195704,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jar w\/lid - 60 hour burn time \/ Beachside Meltdown","offer_id":53062459228472,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jar w\/lid - 60 hour burn time \/ Christmas Woods","offer_id":53062459261240,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0834\/5550\/8792\/files\/callsforaspreadsheet_11ozminimal.jpg?v=1790817649","url":"https:\/\/corporatesnark.shop\/products\/this-calls-for-a-freakin-spreadsheet-candle","provider":"Corporate Snark","version":"1.0","type":"link"}