{"product_id":"light-this-candle-when-you-need-everyone-to-f-off","title":"Light This Candle When You Need Everyone To F' Off","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"63\"\u003eLight this when your patience has officially left the building.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"65\" data-end=\"232\"\u003eFor those days when every email feels personal, every question is unnecessary, and every coworker is testing your last nerve… this candle says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"234\" data-end=\"375\"\u003eA bold blend of “not my problem,” layered with “absolutely not,” and a lingering finish of “go away.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"234\" data-end=\"375\"\u003eBasically, it smells like boundaries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"377\" data-end=\"501\"\u003ePerfect for your desk, your home office, or anywhere you need a little peace, quiet, and significantly fewer people talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"503\" data-end=\"553\"\u003eLight it. Stare into the flame. Ignore everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"555\" data-end=\"590\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eGo ahead… reclaim your damn sanity.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Corporate Snark","offers":[{"title":"Basic Bitch Vanilla","offer_id":51996123627832,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beachside Meltdown","offer_id":51996123660600,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bitch Relax!","offer_id":51996123693368,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hot Lumberjack","offer_id":51996123726136,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sugar \u0026 Spite","offer_id":51996123758904,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0834\/5550\/8792\/files\/IMG_5516.heic?v=1774631602","url":"https:\/\/corporatesnark.shop\/products\/light-this-candle-when-you-need-everyone-to-f-off","provider":"Corporate Snark","version":"1.0","type":"link"}