{"title":"Keychains","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"im-not-having-a-baja-blast-right-now-keychain","title":"I'm Not Having a Baja Blast Right Now Keychain","description":"\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSome days you're having a Baja Blast.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSome days you're one mildly irritating email away from becoming a workplace legend.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis keychain is for the second kind of day. Perfect for your keys, work badge, or bag, it's a funny little reminder that your vibe is currently somewhere between \"leave me alone\" and \"absolutely not.\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA must-have accessory for anyone running on caffeine, sarcasm, and the hope that nobody asks them a quick question.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"629\"\u003e✅ High-quality, durable acrylic keychain with epoxy finish\u003cbr data-end=\"652\" data-start=\"649\"\u003e✅ Metal keyring and clasp\u003cbr data-end=\"708\" data-start=\"705\"\u003e✅ \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eApprox Size: 3\" x 1.5\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"629\"\u003eGrab yours and let everyone know you're not having a good time.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Corporate Snark","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52441169920312,"sku":null,"price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0834\/5550\/8792\/files\/1_ccd4111b-b80d-46ee-a994-e7b457e16e46.jpg?v=1780158331"},{"product_id":"i-prefer-to-call-myself-delightfully-difficult-glitter-keychain","title":"I Prefer To Call Myself Delightfully Difficult Glitter Keychain","description":"\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis keychain is the perfect accessory for anyone who refuses to lower their standards, sugarcoat their opinions, or pretend bad ideas are good ones. Small enough to fit in your pocket, bold enough to describe your entire personality.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause life's too short to be agreeable all the time.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"629\"\u003e✅ High-quality, durable acrylic keychain with epoxy glitter finish\u003cbr data-end=\"652\" data-start=\"649\"\u003e✅ Metal keyring and clasp\u003cbr data-end=\"708\" data-start=\"705\"\u003e✅ \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eApprox Size: 3\" x 2.25\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"629\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAdd one to your cart and embrace your delightfully difficult era.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Corporate Snark","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52441186763064,"sku":null,"price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0834\/5550\/8792\/files\/IMG_7477.heic?v=1780162731"},{"product_id":"i-prefer-to-call-myself-delightfully-difficult-glitter-keychain-copy","title":"Bless Your Heart Glitter KeyChain","description":"\u003cp\u003eSweet as tea. Sharp as a knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis \"Bless Your Heart\" glitter keychain is for anyone fluent in Southern hospitality and subtle insults. Covered in sparkle and dripping with just enough sass, it's the perfect accessory for those moments when you have thoughts but choose to keep things... mostly polite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClip it to your keys, purse, backpack, or work bag and let everyone wonder whether you're being genuinely kind or quietly judging their life choices. The answer is between you and the Lord.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"629\"\u003e✅ High-quality, durable acrylic keychain with epoxy glitter finish\u003cbr data-end=\"652\" data-start=\"649\"\u003e✅ Metal keyring and clasp\u003cbr data-end=\"708\" data-start=\"705\"\u003e✅ \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eApprox Size: 3\" x 3\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"629\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAdd this sparkly little dose of Southern sarcasm to your collection today.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Corporate Snark","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52441192726840,"sku":null,"price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0834\/5550\/8792\/files\/11_03970df1-ab61-4467-9d3b-197898da6f0a.jpg?v=1780162827"},{"product_id":"professional-people-unpleaser-glitter-keychain","title":"Professional People Unpleaser Glitter Keychain","description":"\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAfter years of experience, you've mastered the art of disappointing people who had unrealistic expectations.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis \"Professional People Unpleaser\" glitter keychain is for anyone who has stopped saying yes to everything, stopped apologizing for having boundaries, and stopped volunteering for extra nonsense. Sparkly on the outside, completely over it on the inside.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClip it to your keys, purse, backpack, or work lanyard as a shiny reminder that protecting your peace is more important than keeping everyone happy. Because being a people pleaser is exhausting, and frankly, you're booked.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"629\"\u003e✅ High-quality, durable acrylic keychain with epoxy glitter finish\u003cbr data-end=\"652\" data-start=\"649\"\u003e✅ Metal keyring and clasp\u003cbr data-end=\"708\" data-start=\"705\"\u003e✅ \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eApprox Size: 3\" x 3\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"629\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGrab yours today and disappoint someone by not doing their job for them.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Corporate Snark","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52441234309432,"sku":null,"price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0834\/5550\/8792\/files\/17_a9ddf32b-3b2a-4757-ad52-094a2d91f070.jpg?v=1780163818"},{"product_id":"what-a-fucked-up-time-to-be-alive-keychain","title":"What A Fucked Up Time To Be Alive Keychain","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"157\" data-end=\"418\"\u003eThis keychain is for the people navigating modern life with equal parts disbelief, sarcasm, and exhausted acceptance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"157\" data-end=\"418\"\u003eAttach it to your keys, bag, or lanyard as a tiny reminder that no, you're not imagining it... things really are a little ridiculous out there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"629\"\u003e✅ High-quality, durable acrylic keychain with epoxy finish\u003cbr data-end=\"652\" data-start=\"649\"\u003e✅ Metal keyring and clasp\u003cbr data-end=\"708\" data-start=\"705\"\u003e✅ \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eApprox Size: 3\" x 3\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"qMYqUG_convSearchResultHighlightRoot\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"\" data-turn-id-container=\"request-6a0bc0b0-1d70-83ea-bf26-03d232ad8c54-30\" data-is-intersecting=\"true\"\u003e\n\u003csection class=\"text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none [\u0026amp;:has([data-writing-block])\u0026gt;*]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]\" dir=\"auto\" data-turn-id=\"request-6a0bc0b0-1d70-83ea-bf26-03d232ad8c54-30\" data-turn-id-container=\"request-6a0bc0b0-1d70-83ea-bf26-03d232ad8c54-30\" data-testid=\"conversation-turn-68\" data-scroll-anchor=\"false\" data-turn=\"assistant\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-xs,calc(var(--spacing)*4))] @w-sm\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-sm,calc(var(--spacing)*6))] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-lg,calc(var(--spacing)*16))] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col gap-4 grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"8425a44d-a58d-4dc4-8c63-190e41a9e6dc\" dir=\"auto\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-5\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal outline-none keyboard-focused:focus-ring [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" data-turn-start-message=\"true\" tabindex=\"0\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert wrap-break-word w-full dark markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"780\" data-end=\"924\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eGrab yours now and carry a little validation with you everywhere you go. You're not overreacting. It's objectively a fucked up time to be alive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Corporate Snark","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52441325895992,"sku":null,"price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0834\/5550\/8792\/files\/21_136aac6e-a86f-4df0-b6f2-74a6b863a794.jpg?v=1780169743"},{"product_id":"have-you-considered-shutting-the-fuck-up-glitter-keychain","title":"Have You Considered Shutting The Fuck Up Glitter Keychain","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"76\" data-end=\"276\"\u003eThis glitter keychain is for anyone who's endured one too many unsolicited opinions, pointless comments, or people who simply enjoy hearing themselves talk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"278\" data-end=\"432\"\u003eClip it to your keys, purse, backpack, or work lanyard as a sparkly reminder that silence is free and not nearly enough people are taking advantage of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"278\" data-end=\"432\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eEqual parts sassy, shiny, and wildly relatable, this keychain is guaranteed to make the right people laugh and the wrong people uncomfortable.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"629\"\u003e✅ High-quality, durable acrylic keychain with epoxy glitter finish\u003cbr data-end=\"652\" data-start=\"649\"\u003e✅ Metal keyring and clasp\u003cbr data-end=\"708\" data-start=\"705\"\u003e✅ \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eApprox Size: 3\" x 3\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"qMYqUG_convSearchResultHighlightRoot\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"\" data-turn-id-container=\"request-6a0bc0b0-1d70-83ea-bf26-03d232ad8c54-30\" data-is-intersecting=\"true\"\u003e\n\u003csection class=\"text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none [\u0026amp;:has([data-writing-block])\u0026gt;*]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]\" dir=\"auto\" data-turn-id=\"request-6a0bc0b0-1d70-83ea-bf26-03d232ad8c54-30\" data-turn-id-container=\"request-6a0bc0b0-1d70-83ea-bf26-03d232ad8c54-30\" data-testid=\"conversation-turn-68\" data-scroll-anchor=\"false\" data-turn=\"assistant\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-xs,calc(var(--spacing)*4))] @w-sm\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-sm,calc(var(--spacing)*6))] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-lg,calc(var(--spacing)*16))] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col gap-4 grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"8425a44d-a58d-4dc4-8c63-190e41a9e6dc\" dir=\"auto\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-5\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal outline-none keyboard-focused:focus-ring [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" data-turn-start-message=\"true\" tabindex=\"0\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert wrap-break-word w-full dark markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"780\" data-end=\"924\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eGrab yours now and carry a little sparkle and a lot of attitude wherever you go. ✨\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Corporate Snark","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52441344704824,"sku":null,"price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0834\/5550\/8792\/files\/24_bf2d8e77-173a-4e26-b7ac-cd72ed72dec5.jpg?v=1780170143"},{"product_id":"on-my-way-to-lose-my-shit-keychain","title":"On My Way To Lose My Shit Keychain","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"78\" data-end=\"375\"\u003eThis keychain is for the people doing their best, hanging in there, and rapidly approaching their limit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"78\" data-end=\"375\"\u003eWhether you're heading into a Monday morning meeting, running errands, or opening your inbox, this little accessory understands exactly where you're at emotionally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"377\" data-end=\"505\"\u003eClip it to your keys, bag, backpack, or work lanyard as a warning to others that today may not be the day to test your patience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"774\" data-start=\"629\"\u003e✅ High-quality, durable acrylic keychain with epoxy finish\u003cbr data-end=\"652\" data-start=\"649\"\u003e✅ Metal keyring and clasp\u003cbr data-end=\"708\" data-start=\"705\"\u003e✅ \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eApprox Size: 3\" x 3\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"qMYqUG_convSearchResultHighlightRoot\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"\" data-turn-id-container=\"request-6a0bc0b0-1d70-83ea-bf26-03d232ad8c54-30\" data-is-intersecting=\"true\"\u003e\n\u003csection class=\"text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none [\u0026amp;:has([data-writing-block])\u0026gt;*]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]\" dir=\"auto\" data-turn-id=\"request-6a0bc0b0-1d70-83ea-bf26-03d232ad8c54-30\" data-turn-id-container=\"request-6a0bc0b0-1d70-83ea-bf26-03d232ad8c54-30\" data-testid=\"conversation-turn-68\" data-scroll-anchor=\"false\" data-turn=\"assistant\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-xs,calc(var(--spacing)*4))] @w-sm\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-sm,calc(var(--spacing)*6))] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-lg,calc(var(--spacing)*16))] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col gap-4 grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"8425a44d-a58d-4dc4-8c63-190e41a9e6dc\" dir=\"auto\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-5\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal outline-none keyboard-focused:focus-ring [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" data-turn-start-message=\"true\" tabindex=\"0\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert wrap-break-word w-full dark markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"780\" data-end=\"924\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eGrab yours now and take your emotional support warning label wherever you go.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Corporate Snark","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52441384452408,"sku":null,"price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0834\/5550\/8792\/files\/25_3caa9c1c-9513-4a0d-b986-c290a07d042a.jpg?v=1780171589"}],"url":"https:\/\/corporatesnark.shop\/collections\/keychains.oembed","provider":"Corporate Snark","version":"1.0","type":"link"}